Every time I see a swelled belly, I still stare. I can’t help it. No, not a “wine gut” from toasting the weekend or a “muffin top” from devouring junk food and decadent desserts. But, the one that grows a human being.
Pregnancy is a true miracle; too often taken for granted. With the birth of a child, parents are entrusted with the precious gift of life.
To provide the ‘’roots,’’ that instill stability, spirituality, morals, discipline, respect and kindness. A daunting responsibility that requires no Special Ops expertise. But, should. You don’t have to be a brain surgeon to know how to procreate.
Parenthood is the hardest job on the planet– with no days off or a pension.
Clueless
I remember when I came home with my firstborn, Kevin, thirty two years ago. I couldn’t believe the hospital released me without a background check.
The deer in the headlights look was glued on my face. I was a wreck trying to pretend I had it all together.
I forgot how to position my son in my arms to nurse. I awkwardly held him in a football position, in my left arm, instead of cradling him against my chest. It didn’t dawn on me that anything was amiss, until, his dad and my mother-in-law told me.
Kevin looked thoroughly annoyed at this rocky start. Poor baby. The prenatal classes didn’t cut it. And, Google wasn’t born yet.
Many times, I felt overwhelmed, and dreamt of soaking in a bubble bath until my skin looked like prunes. Most rookie parents muddle their way through. A barista at Starbucks, whipping up a Mocha Frappuccino, has better training.
Now matters more than next
Parenting is not for lightweights. You no longer run anything, anymore. Baby boss, does. You have to have eyes in the back of your head around the clock.
That being said, along with exhaustion comes unparalleled joy and unimaginable love. Every milestone is a big deal.
We think we have all the time in the world to savor this awesomeness. But, we really don’t.
One day you are changing diapers, the next day, you are wiping a tear from your eye, as your kid graduates from high school, college or gets married.
Instead of savoring these sweet, present, moments, we end up rushing through stages and milestones– bobsledding the experiences.
We need to take our feet off the gas and coast. 18 years old comes around pretty fast.
Yep. The days are long–but, the years are short!
The “I can’t wait until,” syndrome is insidious
- “I can’t wait until he/she sleeps through the night.’’
- “I can’t wait until he/she is potty trained.”
- “I can’t wait until he/she goes to kindergarten.’’
- “I can’t wait until he/she graduates from high school.”
- “I can’t wait until he/she goes to college.’’
- “I can’t wait until he/she moves out.”
Please learn how to wait. Each moment is fleeting.
You will have times when you want to run away from the madness or lock yourself in a closet.
Everyday is NOT a Hallmark card!
But, it is cherished bonding time with your child even when they are a hormonal teen filled with angst and attitude.
You are writing your own life story. The good and the bad.
We raise our kids to give them ‘’wings,’’ to leave the nest; the independence they need to become full functioning and well developed adults.
Trust me. You will look back one day and think it wasn’t so bad, after all!
Grown men
One of the happiest days in my life was when my now 29-year-old son, Troy, pulled me to the side after he graduated from college and told me, “Mom, thanks for sticking with me.” I get a real treat when I go to visit Troy at his apartment, less than five minutes away. It feels funny ringing his door bell and sitting on his couch; chuckling while watching Dave Chappelle on Netflix.
Kevin and his lovely wife, Nicole, live thirty minutes away. Both sons have made me very proud. I stay in my lane and mind my business. They are living their own lives now. And, so am I.
Do YOU!!
If you are an empty nester, use this time as an opportunity to do the things you didn’t have time to do before.
Nurture your passion, start a hobby or business, go back to school, travel the world, reinvent yourself.
Catch your breath. It’s time to spread your own wings.
Oh, and pour yourself a big glass of Malbec, you deserve it.
By the way, the design of your blog is really nice. Looks clean and sharp!
Thanks, Michele. I told my web designer. He said thanks. I am so happy with it.
CONGRATULATIONS VIV, SOOO VERY HAPPY FOR, AND PROUD OF YOU.!!! The site is beautiful and so very nicely laid out. I shall be a regular commentator (and perhaps, someday a contributor😉😉…we’ll definitely have to chat) But, many, many blessings and continued success dear.
Hey Christian, your words mean so much; appreciate your heartfelt feedback. So glad the story resonated with you.
And BTW, you nailed it with the Roots and Wings!!!
I especially love this story. My best days, happiest times, proudest moments are definitely connected to the 2 people I am so proud to call “daughter”.
When they are happy, I am happy. I hope life will give them moments that are as happy as the moments they have given me…
that’s what “I can’t wait until” or wait for now!
🙂
Thanks, hon. You did a great job with the girls. Beautiful inside and out. Remember when we were young moms and talked about all our concerns about our kids. Now, they are grown and although we are not helicopter parents, we still want the best for them and feel when they are up or down.
Your stories always have an element that we can all relate to. A man and women can make a child, that’s the easy part and oh so much fun. It’s being a parent, a good parent which is not always easy. Sometimes you can make the nest too good and they don’t want to leave, or that they have seen the world and they believe they are not ready to fly into it. Then you have some that fly and break one of their wings and come back to the nest to let it heal. Now they are afraid to fly again.
Joe, I loved what you said about breaking a wing and coming back home to heal. We have swinging doors. LOL. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. It’s our legacy. Good or bad. Thanks for reading my stories, I really appreciate it.
I love this blog. I am going to share it on my magazine Facebook page. Well done, Viv! (I think I called you Vivian in my last comment – woops!) This really spoke to me because as a work at home mom it’s not easy with a two year old and me trying to work. Before the baby I was used to sitting at my computer for 10-12 hours a day – almost straight – only breaking to eat. I loved every minute of it, but now with a baby that amount of work, uninterrupted is impossible and we don’t have a nanny. Just my hubby and I taking turns watching the baby each day while we fit in work and then power work during sleep times. I have said, “It will be better once he is in Kindergarten” so thank you for this blog. I will miss my little boy when he’s in school so for now, I will be grateful our little hooligan is with us every day and we get to see him grow. He’s a handful!! XO- Tash